In case you missed it, Jesus stopped by Washington DC.
Hmmm. That's odd, I can't seem to locate President Obama.
The Jesus Coin
Here's the perfect stocking stuffer for that true believer in the American Jesus.
Only $39.95, limit 5 per customer.
rope a dope
If I am at the end of my rope, then the pressure around my neck may make it a little difficult to look up. Perhaps "grab a knife and cut yourself loose" may be a better option?
no noise is good noise
Unfortunately for many of us, the American Jesus seems to have employed lighthouses as well as some very annoying and out of tune foghorns.
it's hella hot
Perhaps a service at the Ephesus F.W.B. Church is as close to hell as we would ever want to be.
time to get baked?
Wow -- The American Jesus has a great sense of humor, but the metaphorical possibilities of this sign leads us to getting baked, to Hansel and Gretel, to the holocaust. That can't be a good thing.
a world without crosses?
I suppose as long as there are plenty of crosses around, the apocalypse will have to wait. Bummer.
Where's the peace?
I would like to find this lost book of God -- surely peace is something in great demand. Perhaps Tolstoy plagiarized half of his famous book?
the pharmaceutical Jesus
Yo shepherd -- can you hook a brother up with some of that ambien? . . . No, I can't afford health insurance so I'll need to pay you in cash. Thanks, dude.
full visitation
Divorce in America can be messy. Fortunately, the American Jesus has a team of kick ass lawyers.
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